{"id":192,"date":"2015-01-31T10:34:34","date_gmt":"2015-01-31T13:34:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/textosteatro.com\/br\/?p=192"},"modified":"2015-06-18T11:39:05","modified_gmt":"2015-06-18T14:39:05","slug":"emprego","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/textosteatro.com\/br\/emprego\/","title":{"rendered":"Emprego"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/textosteatro.com\/br\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/Barcode-Emprego.png\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-193\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/textosteatro.com\/br\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/Barcode-Emprego.png?resize=260%2C115\" alt=\"Barcode - Emprego\" width=\"260\" height=\"115\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p lang=\"zxx\" align=\"center\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Um v\u00eddeo com o texto est\u00e1 dispon\u00edvel na Internet para avalia\u00e7\u00e3o:<\/span><br \/>\n<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"1170\" height=\"659\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/0rk_PscN3X4?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/p>\n<p lang=\"zxx\" align=\"center\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/paperball.tv\/\" target=\"_blank\">Dire\u00e7\u00e3o:<br \/>\n<\/a><\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/paperball.tv\/\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Tito Ferradans<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Elenco:<br \/>\nJo\u00e3o Guilherme Fiuza Lima<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/paperball.tv\/\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Equipe T\u00e9cnica:<br \/>\nJuliana Riccio<br \/>\nRenato Gomes<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Tratamento de \u00c1udio:<br \/>\nDiego Orge<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/paperball.tv\/\" target=\"_blank\">Produ\u00e7\u00e3o:<br \/>\n<\/a><\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/paperball.tv\/\" target=\"_blank\">Paperball Productions<br \/>\n<\/a><\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/paperball.tv\/\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/paperball.tv<\/a><\/p>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\">Emprego<\/h1>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div>\n<p class=\"roteiromonologo\">Eu sempre achei estranho isso de emprego, mas fazer o que? A gente tem que trabalhar&#8230;<\/p>\n<p class=\"roteiromonologo\">Ou fazer Stand-Up! Que \u00e9 justamente o que eu estou fazendo aqui!<\/p>\n<p class=\"roteiromonologo\">Quer saber de uma coisa esquisita? Eu estava olhando\u00a0minha carteira de trabalho, porque pediram para eu\u00a0atualizar ela&#8230; l\u00e1\u00a0estava escrito: \u201cgozou f\u00e9rias de 14 de janeiro a 14 de fevereiro\u201d. Fiquei pensando sobre isso&#8230; \u201cgozei f\u00e9rias\u201d! Que esquisito! Cheguei at\u00e9 a pegar uma caneta para corrigir a carteira, trocando para \u201cgozou nas f\u00e9rias\u201d&#8230;<\/p>\n<p class=\"roteiromonologo\">Da\u00ed, fiquei pensando, tentando lembrar&#8230; espera a\u00ed! Eu n\u00e3o gozei nas f\u00e9rias!<\/p>\n<p class=\"roteiromonologo\">Mas&#8230; \u201cgozar f\u00e9rias\u201d. Que express\u00e3o estranha&#8230; \u201cgozada\u201d, mesmo!<\/p>\n<p class=\"roteiromonologo\">Bem, olha s\u00f3&#8230; eu trouxe a carteira pra mostrar pra voc\u00eas.<\/p>\n<p class=\"roteiroinstrucator\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">(mostra a carteira)<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"roteiromonologo\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">Tenho um documento oficial do Minist\u00e9rio do Trabalho, assinado pelo meu\u00a0<\/span>empregador que&#8230; diz que eu gozei durante um m\u00eas! Fant\u00e1stico! Uau! Tem at\u00e9 foto! Deve ser minha foto mais sorridente! Estou at\u00e9 de terno e gravata&#8230;<\/p>\n<p class=\"roteiromonologo\">Pior n\u00e3o \u00e9 isso! Fui olhar a carteira de uma colega minha e l\u00e1 est\u00e1 escrito que ela gozou no mesmo per\u00edodo! Juro! N\u00e3o \u00e9 goza\u00e7\u00e3o!<\/p>\n<p class=\"roteiromonologo\">Mas isso de emprego \u00e9 meio estranho&#8230;<\/p>\n<p class=\"roteiromonologo\">Olha s\u00f3: um dia a gente est\u00e1 aqui, falando besteira, no outro dia n\u00e3o estamos mais aqui, demitidos e&#8230; ouvindo besteira.<\/p>\n<p class=\"roteiromonologo\">Que nem voc\u00eas! E ainda tem gente que paga para ouvir essas coisas!<\/p>\n<p class=\"roteiromonologo\">Mas, como eu falava&#8230; isso de emprego \u00e9 meio estranho.<\/p>\n<p class=\"roteiromonologo\">Tenho um amiga, Daniela, que era minha colega de trabalho. Quando a faculdade particular (PUC-RS) ficou mal das pernas, h\u00e1 alguns anos atr\u00e1s, ela foi demitida com v\u00e1rios outros colegas. Na \u00e9poca, tamb\u00e9m fiquei preocupado com meu emprego, claro. Mas depois disso, o que foi que aconteceu? Ela foi para a Amaz\u00f4nia, ficou famosa, est\u00e1 fazendo doutorado no Rio de Janeiro e acabou tendo o trabalho dos meus sonhos: &#8220;fot\u00f3grafo de mulher pelada&#8221;!<\/p>\n<p class=\"roteiroinstrucator\">(repete, meio \u201csonhador\u201d)<\/p>\n<p class=\"roteiromonologo\"><em><span lang=\"EN-US\">&#8211; Fot\u00f3grafo de mulher pelada&#8230;<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"roteiromonologo\">Eu n\u00e3o tenho d\u00favida nenhuma: segunda-feira eu vou chegar pro meu chefe e pedir para ser demitido!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\">O texto tamb\u00e9m poder\u00e1 ser encontrado no meu livro:<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/br.euquefiz.com\/images\/capalivro_standupmonologoseesquetes.jpg?w=1170\" alt=\"capa\" \/><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\">Cont\u00e9m 13 textos no total:<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\">7 textos stand-up+\u00a04 esquetes para um ator e<br \/>\n+\u00a02 mon\u00f3logos (&#8220;Meu Cachorro&#8221; e &#8220;O Buraco&#8221;)<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: left;\">Os compradores do livro poder\u00e3o usar gratuitamente todos os textos contidos no mesmo sem cobran\u00e7a de direitos autorais.<br \/>\nO livro \u00e9 vendido exclusivamente pela Internet no endere\u00e7o:<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/clubedeautores.com.br\/book\/5251--Standup_Monologos_e_Esquetes_para_um_Ator_Unico\">http:\/\/clubedeautores.com.br\/book\/5251&#8211;Standup_Monologos_e_Esquetes_para_um_Ator_Unico<\/a><\/div>\n<hr \/>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u00a9 Victor M. Sant&#8217;Anna 2010<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Direitos Reservados &#8211; n\u00e3o copie sem autoriza\u00e7\u00e3o!<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p lang=\"zxx\" align=\"center\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/textosteatro.com\/br\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/Barcode-Emprego.png\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-193\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/textosteatro.com\/br\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/Barcode-Emprego.png?resize=260%2C115\" alt=\"Barcode - Emprego\" width=\"260\" height=\"115\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Um v\u00eddeo com o texto est\u00e1 dispon\u00edvel na Internet para avalia\u00e7\u00e3o: Dire\u00e7\u00e3o: Tito Ferradans Elenco: Jo\u00e3o Guilherme Fiuza Lima Equipe T\u00e9cnica: Juliana Riccio Renato Gomes Tratamento de \u00c1udio: Diego Orge Produ\u00e7\u00e3o: Paperball Productions http:\/\/paperball.tv Emprego &nbsp; Eu sempre achei estranho isso de emprego, mas fazer o que? A gente tem que trabalhar&#8230; Ou fazer Stand-Up! [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[104],"tags":[323,355,256,64,107,26,105,110,160],"class_list":["post-192","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stand-up-2","tag-carteira","tag-comedia","tag-demissao","tag-emprego","tag-show","tag-stand-up","tag-stand-up-comedy-2","tag-stand-up-show","tag-trabalho"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Emprego - Textos Teatro<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Emprego \u00e9 um texto de com\u00e9dia para Stand-Up, parodiando as perip\u00e9cias da vida popular profissional. 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